0:00 Volkswagen sedan. Claymation of King Kong on Empire State Building, snatching planes. Stops car in NYC street, looks under hood, plays with automatic transmission. “Big enough for just about everyone.”
1:05 Jeno’s Pizza Rolls. Nice dinner party, butlers serve pizza rolls with much success. A masked man. Everyone toasts.
2:05 Brainstorming meeting at an ad agency, discussing a campaign for shoes. “The Shoes Say it All.”
2:55 “Fantastic Country”, a compilation country album for sale. Samples of each song with artists in picture-in-picture stars, with horseback riders in the background. The most fantastic country album of all time.
3:45 Black and white. Lucy and Desi smoking cigarettes. Desi asks for another. Lucy moves picture, opens safe, takes out “smooth, mild, mellow, and eesy on your throat”, king-sized Phillip Morris cigarettes. Lucy kisses Desi.
4:52 Deadly art of kung fu. Oddly lit nighttime car chase. Tune in to “The Green Hornet”.
5:25 7-Up, the un-cola. Teen Angel haunts a malt shop. Reminisces. Talks about kids drinking the non-cola 7-Up. “It’s nows-ville, man”. 50s music.
6:20 Chiffon Margarine. Mother Nature can’t believe it’s not butter in her daisy patch.
6:50 A teenage boy and girl begin a new lifetime of security in the knowledge that the uncola is never too sweet, etc. Slow motion running with balloons into lovers arms. “The uncola is forever.”
7:50 Dick Van Dyke shows how easy Kodak has made loading film with a Kodak instamatic film camera. Little girl plays with shaggy dog. “Kodak makes your pictures count”. Cameras start at less than $35.
8:49 Cybill Shepard. Cover Girl Clean Make-up. Cybill runs around in snow, poses, applies makeup.
9:18 Colgate toothpaste. Man in suit talks about tooth enamel and contains advanced MFP fluoride. The Teeth Toughener.
9:52 Alka-Seltzer tablets. In Sweden, Dad stays home with kids, has problems. Everything goes wrong. Mom comes home and saves day with Alka-Seltzer tablets.
10:49 Boxers in a ring. Mennen Skin Bracer, after-shave. Works like a cold slap in the face, thanks, I needed that
11:18 Young girl prods dad to take her to beach. Woman yawns, man breaks mirror. America used to be the land of the eager beaver, but now have no protein in their diet. H ope for the sleepy. Chex. Rice Chex is a very different kind of protein. Doesn’t leave a lump in your stomach.
12:00 A couple on a boat, at the races, under trees, walking about, discuss baby names. Get stuck on the name Sanford. Coffee, the think drink. International Coffee Organization.
13:50 Austin Pendleton talks to woman in car about Caravel.
13:50 Blond woman talks sexy to a lime. Noxema Lime.
14:20 Right Guard deodorant. Fire yours, hire ours. Man in uniform. Woman and small child.
14:47 7up, the Uncola. Three soft drinks compared.
15:48 Texaco. Jack Benny buys gasoline from Dennis Day who recognizes him for buying only one gallon. Woman in tacky red suit
16:40 Phillips 66. A young couple, a baseball star and a blond, talks about three times of gasoline. The Performance Stop.
17:15 Phillips 66. Talk about missing a plane
17:50 Stretching wrap over bowls. Stretch’n ‘Seal food wrap. New from Colgate. Turn bowls upside down to test
18:17 Ultra-brite toothpaste, which freshens breath. Saves a girl before her date, when she can’t find her mouthwash.
18:49 Jade East lotion. The magnetic all-purpose lotion for him.
19:15 (Two ads for) Schick Super Chronium . Men want to shave so much, they stop at multiple rest stops, stay up late to do it.
19:45 Contac, tiny time pills. The 12- hour hay fever reliever. Three men in black suits race through area. They sneeze, they lose.
20:15 Johnny Smoke. Out of the land of the tobacco plant “where there’s smoke, there’s a danger of heart disease”. Animated stills.
21:14 Dial soap. Many men squeeze in bug car, one more enters, and he apparently does not smell very good.
21:44 Scientists show others a machine that identifies odor. The real test is Tiparillo aromatic. It doesn’t smell like a cigar.
22:15 Playtex cross-your-heart bra. If you have the average figure but don’t want to look average. Song says that you’ll never be in a movie, but that that’s ok.
22:45 American Motors. Offers glamour and space.
23:15 Kleenex. Man sneezes, completely destroying apartment. Takes back sneeze . Man sneezes with Kleenex and destroys less, “for him, for her.”
23:47 A series of commercials for Chex and Ralston, starring Space Patrol characters. What’s in this box?, spaceman teases.
24:27 Spaceman urges consumers to join the 1953 March of Dimes to limit children’s paralysis, and to listen to space patrol on abc radio
25:28 ABC television network. Greatest value in space equipment ever offered. Just like the ones Bud/Buzz Cory uses. Send 25 cents and box top. Space binoculars. Space Patrol Box 812 St. Louis, MO. The Space Patrol laboratory. Man in spacey suit tests fuels in a toysize spaceship. Wants people to be “a supersomebody” by charging themselves up with a supercharging cereal. “Pulling into your breakfast table is just like pulling into a filling station”. An animated “Checkerboard kid” is successful in sports, because he eats Chex. Chex will make you “supergood”. Checkerboard kid wins bike race. Live boys hit baseballs, girls jumprope. Sun wishes “good morning.”
36:46 Boy marvels at the fun to be had w ith space patrol binoculars.
41:55 Clip from the space patrol TV show. Two young men and a young blond. Logo on clouds.
42:58 Credits for Space Patrol. Sounds of wind and thunder.
43:58 Volkswagen. Men with torches and dogs outside. Scientists in lab retreat further into basement. The pursued fit into Volkswagen van, with room for their stuff
45:00 The case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Takes alka-seltzer plus in water. Makes him into Dr. Jekyll again, just in the nick of time.
46:00 Alphabets cereal. Kids hanging out in a mansion with Frankenstein,
46:28 A-1 used as a seasoning in cooking. Two short cray people help British scientist
47:00 Mentholatem deep heating cream. Animated castle on a stormy night, Frankenstein and scientist.
47:33 Animated mean man stumbled upon popcorn. A variety of strange animated men enjoy it
48:15 Screaming yellow zonkers. An ugly ugly person, so ugly that he has no taste.
48:44 Wrestle Around. A karate expert, a strongman, a child play the active board game with marbles. Kid wins.
49:45 Animated monsters on a beach argue about cereals, Count Chocula vs. Boo-Berry, etc. Mini-monsters in specially marked packages of monster cereal.
50:18 T oyota. Frankenstein has Toyota corolla, attracting women without looks
50:50 KFWB 98. The longer you listen the more you learn. Mom and kids in dark ride about monsters
51:20 Shasta. Igor/Frankenstein goes to get scientist what he craves.
52:18 Bic. Frustrated Frankenstein man, trying to break out of ice with pen.
52:57 Der Wienerschnitzel not-a-burgers. Dracula doesn’t want burger from Igor.
53:30 Toyota. Mad scientist tells Igor about how great his Toyota is.
54:31 Flair lets the inner through come through. Man likes pen, which shows his best side
55:00 Nondescript flash
55:10 Sexy woman peels dole banana. If you feel it, peel it
55:44 Instant Simoniz. The three stooges wax car to prove ability to make things shine. Put simonized wax on car.
56:48 Witch doctor interviews with stodgy man for job.
59:40 Image Union ending
59:59 end of tape