Out Of Darkness.

0:00 Opening titles. “Artists who have experienced childhood sexual abuse.”

1:46 Ariel Jordan, an artist, talks about being an artist, how art comes from, “having an awareness of what happened to you.”

2:05 Deborah Davidson, abused by her father. She talks about her father’s abuse.

2:55 Ariel, abused by both parents and uncles. He talks about how his parents didn’t exist anymore to him after the abuse.

3:33 Brooke Hultan, abused by her father, talks about the loss she felt when the abuse stopped.

4:09 Brian Jamall Coleman, abused by both parents. He talks about having blocked out his childhood.

4:50 Jennifer Greene, ritual abuse. She talks about how every aspect of her life is effected by having to keep the secret.

5:33 Michael Hemphill, ritual abuse. He talks about how parents help keep the secret among children.

6:21 Deborah talks about how her art is an integral part of dealing with the abuse. She talks about her paintings involving scissors, which were her first direct responses to the incest.

9:45 Michael talks about his abuse, and the process of becoming numb to the abuse, though it seems impossible to become numb to seeing abuse. He talks about his feelings towards his mother, who he felt he could never blame because he needed her for survival. He talks about placing the blame on himself instead and undoing the false accusations through art.

17:00 Brooke discusses avoiding art until she was able to come to terms with the extent of her abuse. She talks about the abuse shaping her personal truth entirely. She discusses the closeness of her relationship to her father, and how it would destroy her to erase her father from her life. She explains that the emotional abuse from her mother was almost worse than the sexual abuse from her father. She talks about how her art reflects her experiences.

26:13 Brian talks about his childhood and coming to art as a way to express himself. He talks about how things he was hiding from himself would appear in his art as a child.

32:27 Jennifer talks about how her paintings reflect the same confused structure inside herself. She talks about the split be tween her parents taking care of her, but also let her be abused. She talks about painting with her blood, and having her children taken away. She says that her art is not something she could ever imagine sacrificing, and that educating people about ritual abuse is important to help end it.

41:10 Ariel talks about being unable to understand people who have not experienced what he has, and he talks about the experiences being abused by his father, thinking he was dead. “I’m dead, and life after death–it’s very similar to life with my parents.” He talks about bonding and developing a relationship with his parents through the abuse. He talks about expressing himself through art, but only beginning to heal through his own life.

50:25 End credits

52:20 End of tape.