[Politics of Intimacy: Bonnie 2]

This is raw footage shot for Julie Gustafson's documentary, "The Politics of Intimacy." In this seminal feminist video, ten women address the camera and seemingly each other in a wide-ranging exploration of such previously taboo subjects as women’s sexuality, power, and fears about intimacy. This interview is with Bonnie Hankowitz . Originally shot in 1/2" B & W video.

00:13Copy video clip URL Camera set-up. Bonnie, a young woman with long brown hair and glasses wearing a turtleneck, introduces herself. 

00:51Copy video clip URL Bonnie discusses losing her virginity at the age of 16 to a friend of her sister, because she thought “it was a good thing to do to get rid of my virginity.” 

01:50Copy video clip URL Mixed feelings after losing her virginity, which was physically and emotionally unsatisfying. Feelings of guilt and difference afterwards. 

03:16Copy video clip URL Her history of sexual fantasies and masturbation. Romantic ideals and her desire for longterm fulfillment and stability. 

05:27Copy video clip URL Sex as a way to get attention and other less romantic or healthy motivations for sex. Aggression and hostility towards men. 

07:18Copy video clip URL Build-up in her mind about how great it would be to have a sexual relationship with someone, coming from her sister and her father talking about sex. Misconceptions about sex before she lost her virginity. 

09:20Copy video clip URL Laughing, she explains: “I wanted to get rid of my virginity because it was a commodity that was undesirable.”

09:48Copy video clip URL The first orgasm that she had with another person, a boyfriend she was fooling around with. 

10:28Copy video clip URL Stopping masturbation because it was emotionally empty. 

11:28Copy video clip URL Feelings of guilt about masturbation when she was a child. Guilt regarding sex when she was younger. Growing disillusioned with unemotional sex. 

13:44Copy video clip URL Purity and a moral sense of human-ness, wanting to have “pure motives” for sleeping with someone. 

14:32Copy video clip URL Bonnie smoking, taking a break from the interview. 

15:40Copy video clip URL Sleeping with people with whom there is no realistic chance for a relationship: married men, immature younger men. 

17:03Copy video clip URL Being raped, “and not caring about that either. At all. Except that I suppose in a way that it verified a lot of the bad feelings that I had about men. Made me feel even bitchier about it, even more resentful, like I wanted to make fools of these people. I tried hard to get out of feeling that way because it would have ended up in disaster if I’d let it go any longer.” Dealing with psychological trauma and disillusionment with sex and romance. 

19:08Copy video clip URL Discussion of different types of orgasm and different experiences. Male orgasms vs female orgasms. The female orgasm being much more “complete” than the sensation of the male orgasm. “I even had an orgasm in my teeth once.”

22:37Copy video clip URL The physical experience of orgasm. 

23:40Copy video clip URL The physical sensations and emotional experience of sex. The give-and-take of making love with someone that you care about. Getting pleasure from giving another person pleasure. Getting that “real in-touch kind of feeling, that you’re both moving toward the same thing.”

28:53Copy video clip URL The progression of activities during sex. She gets turned on by “all kinds of mushy little kisses and stuff… kisses in funny places like the crook of your elbow.” The incredible experience of intercourse if she’s emotionally stimulated. 

 

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